back to normal-ish.

yesterday i woke up promptly at 445 am to head over to jazzercise. totally froze my butt off getting there, but was very proud i did it. even if about 1/2 through the next to last song i just about died. i needed more sleep than i got- and should've been drinking more water the night before, too. my b yo. but lesson totally learned!

last night totally skipped zumba to go out to dinner and beer. well worth skipping.

tomorrow will be another 5am morning. i need to push myself to get back in the habit of doing it. i really wish that it wasn't so lung-busting cold outside so i could go and run. i need to blow off a bunch of steam and that's the best way i found to do so. blast some god awful pop music and just run till i feel like i'm going to puke.

one of my favorite runs happened this fall at the battlefield. i went running just after a long stretch of rain, so it was empty and the trails were a bit muddy. it was the first time taking my new shoes out to get dirty- which i think was the most exciting part. but i had been going through a bunch of stupid drama shit with people and just blasted death cab for cutie and just kept running. until my ipod died. at which point i screamed out "FUCK!" just as loud as i could. because at the time i just knew i was all by myself, and i was angry about things that were happening that i couldn't directly control, and i just needed to express how pissed off i was. then just as i finished the last of the "CKUHHHHH..." another runner passed and just smiled. which i have always thought was a sign that everyone has those days! he just smirked and ran past. i feel like i need another day like that, where i am completely by myself and i just run. though maybe this time my ipod won't die!

so...northern virginia is seriously starting to really kill my spirit. i can feel myself a changed person. some parts for the best, but others not at all. it really bothers me the most when i notice the things that i really miss about how i was 2 years ago. i miss having a plethora of friends at my fingertips that wanted to do really cool things and learn about new things and share all the cool new things they learned about. i'm tired of feeling like i'm becoming more cynical and judgmental. maybe this is happening because i'm just getting old, but i feel like a majority of it comes from the atmosphere. i need a change.

barak obama help me- i need change!

5 things i miss about the old meganne:

• biking to the river on a whim.
  
• playing board games until after midnight completely sober.
  
• cooking for myself.
• walking into any number of local businesses and walking out with arms and bellies full of free stuff.
• not being addicted to the internet and tv for entertainment.

5 things i don't miss about the old meganne:

• paying rent and bills (ha)
• not having time to work out.
• not being connected to my family in any way, shape, or form.
• having short hair.
• saying i wanted to travel and never going anywhere.